September 3, 2008

Necrophilia, its not just for vampires anymore…

Filed under: Just life,Observations — sbj @ 11:48 am

My mother had a crush on a deceased Australian bushman.  She admired his life and took my sister and I to his grave (in the middle of the Australian outback) as part of our three month trek through Australia when I was 14.  

Instead of seeing how attractive this man might or might not have been, what he could do for her or with her, noting his material possessions, or evaluating if their personalities were a perfect match; she simply evaluated the man on his reputation, accomplishments and the merit of his considerable character.  

It has been argued that he was probably not nearly the person she had made him out to be, and that in real life he would not have garnered such affections.  That time has a way of agrandizing people, and diminishing their faults.  This may be true, but, as such, is all the more reason why I appreciate my mothers crush, and my own affinity for admiring the general thematic good in people (past and present) rather than focusing on the more standard material and subjective bell weather indicators. 

Because of this I tend to see potential (realized or not) in people, people both living and gone, rather than the limitations of history.  Potential, I believe is the fertile ground in which hope and accomplishment are grown. My mother fell in love with a deceased Australian bushman, and because of that, I fell in love with humanity.

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  1. It’s funny what we take away from childhood…my father was my best friend EVER! He was a compassionate and passionate man…he literally gave the shirt off his back to others and everyone who met him loved him immediately…consequently my brother (who sets the moon and stars for me) is the same way…and he was his step-son! Hmmm now there’s a nature V nurture argument.
    The gifts my father passed on to me through his passion and compassion are one and the same. I am a very passionate person in everything…I’ve been called intense…but I prefer passionate, plugged-in, alive and animate! I learned, through him, that compassion is not feeling bad for someone…rather being mindful that we are all human and beautifully flawed. Perhaps the biggest gift I “inherited” from my dad was love…because of the unconditional, unshakable love I received from him…I am able to love unconditionally, deeply…trusting that regardless of what may come of it…I am the better for doing so.
    Thank you for reminding me of theses gifts.

    Comment by Justene — September 3, 2008 @ 12:13 pm

  2. “My mother fell in love with a deceased Australian bushman, and because of that, I fell in love with humanity.”

    Anyone reading this out of context would think you were writing a comedy. This was the first line of this blog entry I read (my page loaded at the comments first, and I had to scroll up to the blog), and because I already knew the story of your mother and the bushman, it brought tears to my eyes.

    You are an example of a person who has truly lived. In order to achieve that title, you must learn and grow throughout your life. You must be capable of knowing you made mistakes and admitting to them. Furthermore, you must be actively working towards overcoming past habits, becoming a better person, and raising better children. You are all of those things, and you continue to inspire and amaze me.

    Just as an aside -

    “Necrophilia, its not just for vampires anymore…”

    Anyone reading that line out of context may think some very strange things about you indeed. *grins*

    Comment by Devyl — September 3, 2008 @ 8:12 pm

  3. [...] it had to offer.  From lessons learned at a random grave site in the heart of the Outback (http://puntiglio.com/blog/?p=263) to a sense of conviction I didn’t even recognize as coming from her at the time, and so much [...]

    Pingback by puntiglio.com » I love you… — November 4, 2009 @ 7:46 pm

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