puntiglio.com

I have been interviewed!  Detail on how this all came to be are below…

1. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Disinterinstingly enough, I started my blog in order to stay in touch and maintain communications while my life was “falling apart” during my divorce. I wanted a way to have the “deep” conversations I wanted to have, but was unable to due to circumstance. It was never designed to be publically consumed, but, a few members of my family discovered it, and then I “made the mistake” of posting an entry on Twitter (cannot even remember why at this point) which led to more readers… and here we are. At first I was resentful of the migration to a public work… now I absolutely love the interaction with my friends and readers.

2. (This one’s long-winded, so bear with me) You posted recently about the odd juxtaposition of personal (and somewhat) intimate relationships over electronic media. That post you said you liked the access it gave you to a variety of people that you may not have otherwise met. Do you think those relationships are as good (or better for that matter) than the ones you could be developing with people you have met in person if you were investing your energy there (instead of online)?

Typically, I don’t invest online energy in lieu of offline energy. When I am with irl friends, for the most part, I am with them. I do shoot pictures from time to time that I post for online friends to view, but I don’t think my online life adversely affects my irl relationships. That or I’m just in denial . I will say that I do, at times, enjoy and take advantage of the more fluid nature of online relationships. Because of services like Twitter and Ping.fm I am able to “maintain” my online relationships whenever I want to, rather than being limited to a social schedule of some kind. In some ways, social networks are to relationships what tivo is to television. They are both liberating and enabling. I don’t think I would spend any of the time I spend online actively socializing (I do enough of that for me already) so I think the overall effect is negligible.

3. You are obviously close to your kids. How did your relationship with your parents shape the relationship you have with your kids?

The relationships I had with my mother and father were very different.

With my mother, life was a series of challenges and learning experiences. She had a curiosity and thirst for knowledge that inspired me. A rabid reader, she could almost always be found with a book in hand (even if she was not actively reading, she’d have one in case the opportunity came up). I attribute my love of reading and constant desire to learn and understand more and more about the world around me, in large part, to her influence. Much to their dismay, my children are now the recipients of my continual “make the world a better place… and start that mission by making yourself a better person” message. I frequently have to ask myself why I keep preaching the message my mother was able to impart by example… it is entirely possible I am over working this.

My father was always very personable, fun and engaging. The consummate extrovert, he is friends with everyone. He was a hands on father when I was young, always finding time for a game of catch, or waffle ball, etc. He was also very respectful of other people, especially woman without an ounce of bigotry or prejudice in him (true of all of my parents, I’m blessed to say). As such, I tend to be far more of a hands on father, getting in the middle of the wrestling match, or the soccer game, or whatever else might be going on. I am an active participant in their lives not just another adult member of the household. I know kids also need time to play on their own, and I exercise self control to let them have it, but because of my fathers influence, left to my own devices I’d be screaming “not it” with the rest of the children.

I also need to include my step-mother in any thorough response regarding the major parental influences in my life. Although she did not get her mitts on me until half way through seventh grade, she certainly had a pronounced effect. We had chores, we had responsibilities, and she made sure we were on top of them. I was a good person before I met her; I was a responsible one when she was done. She was a task master, and yet, she also taught me how to say “I love you” out loud. She helped me root out emotions and feelings that I had never openly confronted. I expect the best of my boys, I am demanding and make sure, at all times, that they know what is expected of them. I also make sure they know I love them and care for them (to an extent that often elicits groans and “I know, dad” responses). My boys know I expect the world of them, and they know that expectation comes from the love and respect I have for them. I am able to communicate this because of my step-mother (more frequently referred to as my mom).

4. You’ve been married, had kids, been divorced. All are life altering events. Other than these obvious transitions, tell us about a defining moment in your life.

I have always been a relatively confident person; it probably came from feeling very responsible at a very young age as the older of two latch key children. However, I cannot say that I felt fully empowered or in control of my life prior to going on an Outward Bound trip in my mid-twenties. Outward Bound is an amazing program that I cannot recommend highly enough for just about everyone. You will be pushed to your limits, and beyond. You will, at some point, crack. There will be tears, if not from you, from those around you. You will be forced to face your fears (from my silly fear of walking across logs to others more legitimate fears of climbing on a wall face hundreds of feet above a rocky floor), and overcome them. You learn so much, about human interaction under stress and about your own abilities, strengths and weaknesses under stress. You are working together with people both older and younger than yourself and have to learn how to deal with factors related to these differences as well. Outward Bound was quite possibly the biggest learning experience in my life, both about people in general, and about myself.

5.  Now, for a question that all of your readers NEED to know. What’s in those apple bottoms? Boxers, briefs, or a banana hammock? Photos are optional, but greatly desired.

None of the above!!! Once the pictures are retaken, they will be posted!

Don’t forget the rules….

You have to link back to the original post (http://immoralmatriarch.com/questionsagain) and my post (http://fearandparenting.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/got-questions/) and include the following in your post:

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.