November 13, 2009

A celebration… of a death…

Filed under: Uncategorized — sbj @ 6:38 pm

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of my grandfather (AAKA* Farfar – http://puntiglio.com/blog/?cat=26).  I went into the day not knowing exactly what to expect. You see, 8 days prior I observed the 20th anniversary of my mothers passing (http://puntiglio.com/blog/?p=495 – why yes I do write about just about everything ;) ), and it was at all not easy, I sort of expected the same to be true for yesterday.

But it wasn’t.  As the day moved on, and my reflections deepened, I came to realize that, unlike my mother, I had closure with Farfar.  I was by his side many times over his last few months.  We spoke (and argued), shared time and space as I prepared for what was to come.

I wrote, before his death, of my life and times with him, reinforcing in my mind and in my spirit his place in my life.  I spoke with other family members about Farfar, exchanging stories, anticipating life after his passing, bonding in ways we had not in years, a particular point that hit me with great force.

Even in dying, Farfar had a unifying effect on the family.  So, by the end of the day, a day I had anticipated would be difficult and mournful, I came to realize that I was actually celebrating his anniversary.

Much like mom, I miss Farfar horribly. However, with him, I was able to say goodbye, to close the book and, willingly and knowingly, start the next chapter in my relationship with him.

Yesterday was a good day…

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