December 16, 2009

And now it gets interesting…

Filed under: Observations — Tags: , , — sbj @ 9:31 pm

Okay… it only gets interesting if the sources ar People magazine are correct.  But… as gossipy magazines go, People tends to be pretty reliable, so I’m going to give it enough credibility to begin speculating.  People is reporting (and this will be on newsstands Friday) that Elin Woods is leaving Tiger Woods.

And this, my friends is where the rubber meets the road.  It is easy to seclude yourself, mind your P’s and Q’s and do the right thing when you are fighting for something.  However, a better definition of a person might be gleaned from how they conduct themselves when the fight is over, and, in fact, lost.

Has or will Tiger change(ed)?  Is he going to be a better “father and human” (if not husband).  He was certainly motivated to become all of those things in the past few weeks.  He had a wife he did not want to lose (I do not know him well enough to say how deeply he loved or cared for her, if at all… but his actions do indicate that he at least wanted to maintain the relationship.).

I have seen it go both ways, after the divorce.  I have seen people say “that’s it, I tried, it didn’t work, so now I’m going back to doing my own thing;” and I’ve seen people actually re-double their efforts to be a “better father, human” and, yes, even husband.

I have seen people fall to pieces, personally, professionally… in every measurable way.  Similarly I have seen people become far better people than they ever were before… in other words, I’ve seen people keep their word, even when the objective and motivation for speaking them in the first place did not come to fruition.

Certainly this is not easy task and takes a significant amount of character and integrity (it is important to point out here that I am not saying Tiger or anyone in his position had that character or integrity prior to hitting rock bottom… I am speaking of qualities developed or enhanced as a function of their self-destruction).

What if Tiger stayed away from golf for a while, to work on being a better human and being a better father, and making things as right as possible with Elin, instead of running back to the comfort of the links and competition?

But wouldn’t it be nice if, after losing his primary motivation for his new focus, tiger maintained it anyway. Without a marriage to save and a relationship to repair, he worked on the same things that would have accomplished those things (in a co-operative environment) anyway.  If he worked on those things because of something internal – a desire to actually be a better man rather than just rebuild an image of him being one – Tiger Woods might not accomplish what he set out to do… but it would certainly be a (pardon the pun) “major” victory.

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